MA – Presenting Elin Dane
You should always push the interaction forward on the first date with a girl. You should try to get laid on the first date so that she will reveal her true character. If she lets you stick it in on the first date, you can bet you are not the first guy to do that. Therefore, you should then squash any romantic notions you have of loving the girl and having her walked down the aisle to you one day.
Here, I present seven first date tips you should follow to get laid.
7 First Date Tips to Get Laid
1.) Logistics are everything for a first day lay.
Your first date with a girl should always, always involve alcohol. Despite being the “superior” sex at communicating, many girls are flat out awkward on the first date. A single drink gets them to loosen up a bit; and I’m not just speaking of their mouths. Ideally, you want to live in a place close enough to walk to a couple of bars. You can become a regular with the bartenders, and make some new friends. I’ll never forget the one time my favorite bartender in San Diego asked me:
Does she want the same thing as last time, or is that the third different girl you brought here this week?
While you will often find that prime logistics will cost you a pretty penny, there are numerous benefits to paying the premium price.
If you’re also lucky enough to live near work, you can walk literally everywhere. My current living situation involves me paying $2,000 a month for rent – but I walk to work and to all of the fun. If I had an hour commute each way, and made $20 an hour (I don’t, but bear with me) – then that comes out to $200 worth of “hours” a week you spend sitting in traffic. Multiply that by four weeks a month and you end up with $800. Time is money.
Never have to worry about a DUI.
If she ends up being a dud, you’re not out much time. Just walk home and resume your evening of kicking ass.
A good rule of thumb is that for a first date, she always comes to you. Don’t go her way unless you know she does not have roommates and has good logistics.
2.) Dress sharp.
You’ll be more confident, she’ll be more turned on – nothing says playboy more than a sharp blazer, or hell, even a suit.
3.) Touch her – a lot.
The amount you touch her should just border on making her uncomfortable. Better to be bold than be a chode. Push the interaction forward – if she is not comfortable with it, she will let you know. You should start with just touching her arm gently to emphasize a point in conversation. From there, you can go to touching her knee with your hand. Eventually, you can press your legs or knees together.
4.) You should pay on the first date.
Despite all of the feminists shrieking for equality, we all know they don’t really want that. Only when it’s convenient, and of course, this is one of those times it isn’t convenient for them. However, you are a smart man. You know that if you want to get laid on a first date, you don’t do something silly like buy a girl dinner or take her to a movie. Naturally, you took her to a bar because, again, alcohol.
Therefore it should not break your bank to buy a round of drinks at the bar of your choosing.
5.) Don’t hesitate to lie.
After a round of drinks, if all is well, don’t hesitate to bounce her out of there under the pretense of going to a different bar. If you can swing it logistically, suggest a bar that will force you to walk by your pad. Once outside, suggest she come up to show her something – like a guitar or photograph.
The key thing is to give her every excuse in the world that she isn’t going to have sex with you (“We were just going upstairs so he could play Wonderfall for me!”), so she can calm her inner hamster and spread her legs.
6.) End the first date early.
Because she is not used to this. If she refuses your offer to return to your apartment, then don’t hesitate to walk away after forty-five minutes to an hour. You have other pressing things to do with your time. If she is a good-looking girl, she’s used to men tripping over themselves to spend every second of time with her. Your disappearance will intrigue her.
MA – Elin Dane Marshmellow
